illusion of safety

Dear everybody,

Forgive me if I’ve hurt you in one way or another. Physically and mentally.
I wish I could make you all a nice little gift to make it up, but time constraint and the money shortage disallow me to do just that.
I also would like to apologize for all the curses and swears that slipped out of my mouth. I should’ve known better.


In this month, we’ll learn what it’s like to be hungry at day, and eat just enough before dawn and after sunset. We’ll also learn to hold our anger, forget our grudges, control our desire, and be more respectful to each other. But I bet you all know that already So to make things even better, not only we go passive, we should also go active. We should start smiling more to strangers (who, may be, are having a rough day coupled with hungry stomach), read more books to start getting our brain to adapt to the lack of nutritions at day, donate more, throw trashes away into the appropriate trash can and pick up some non-biodegradable trashes who are left and scatered on the ground, and throw it away to the trash cans (angels LOVE going to clean places). Those are just some of the things I could come up with for now, and I’m sure ANYONE can top that list!

So yeah. RAMADAN KAREEM everybody! Not a month to be grumpy noo sirreeee! It’s a month to be joyful and realize our potential to be a better human being! Hope everybody has a good one today, tomorrow and until the end of the month!

WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with Lim Kok Wing promoting all these parties?

Just to set the record straight: I’m not against partying or any of that, but what the god damn college is doing really brings tears (metaphorically) to my eyes. The college is basically promoting a lifestyle of consumerism, excessive expenditures, and hedonism. What the fuck?!?! Is that what being "artistic" is all about now? I won’t go with the college’s definition of "art" anymore (like I ever have), but now they’ve gone overboard. Yes yes, I know these parties have nothing to do with art, but the fact that LKW has tried to be synonymous with the word "art", I’m pretty sure the image it projects to the outside world is worsen: It used to be known as a college for the rich and pretty, now it’s for the hedonists too.

Look people people… you’ve gotta draw the line somewhere here. A college that is pretty fucking far away from the city has to be able to take that extra mile to provide the students with most of their basic needs, at least academically. But what happens is things are overpriced, incomplete, and so-so quality. That situation coupled with the freaking heat and less-than-perfect "inteligent city", we’re pretty far away from the era of modern civilization.

But I have no problem with all that.

But to top it off with getting students to party so much, without putting into consideration that we live in MALAYSIA, a country where the majority of the citizens are muslims and have certain Asian values to uphold, then that is just too much. I’m all for cultural exchange and diversities (believe me, I do), but the way I see it, this is just nothing than complete waste of money for a mere couple of hours of hedonistic fun. Where the hell has humility gone to? Where the hell are the virtues? And nobility? God damnit people, THEY ARE RIPPING YOU OFF! No one is asking to you to pretend to be poor, but remember what kind of image you’re projecting out there. Some kids have gone here asking permissions from their parents to study in an ART college that (supposedly) has lots of awards and recognition. But do you really think the parents will be impressed by the amount of money the kids are spending on alcohol?

Fuck that no. Lol the more I write the more pissed off I get. Sorry for complaining and not doing anything about it, but this kinda things have to be addressed sooner or later. The fucking college has to evolve. Fuck this shit, I’m done.

10:33 AM

Sometime you wonder if you should give it all, and sometime you wonder if you should draw the line somewhere. Sometime you just feel like you don’t know anything.

12:33 PM

Peace makes us weak.

Ya know… I’ve always rambled about how random life is and variables in our life are the ones that make it interesting. But when randomness comes on hitting you constantly.. do you then get bored of it? I sorta do. Yes expecting the unexpected (ERR ERR!!) can be fun and rewarding and all, but sometimes the more random things are, the blurrier your sight will be; how could you start planning things out then? I’m not really the type of person who plan things out to their innermost detail. No. I preffer to leave some space for things to grow. But when you can’t even plan the next step you should take, how could you even make the step at all?

That was very vague, so let me lay out an example: I’ve worked my ass off night and day on my design project’s presentation, only for it to be postponed again and again, with more and more expectations with every delay. WTF is that all about? And sometime I see the big picture and neglect the details in the corner, that apparently, is the core of the whole painting. I worry about the nuclear attack my enemy’s been screaming for, but I forget about their sudden, mischievous stab from the back. My thoughts are always divided into things that sometime… I don’t even know if they matter at all! Which makes me realize the importance of sorting out priorities and pleasures.

Or maybe it’s the habit. I’m always changing, but there are certain qualities (or vices, whichever you look at it) that will always stuck with me. I’m easy to be changed, as long as you can provide the reasons and back it up with clear and well thought arguments (cus I ask a lot when it comes to shit that defies logic/things that I’m not too familiar with).

I’m a human too, my emotions do overcome my logic at times.

I am blessed with a beautiful and awesome girlfriend, but sometime I’m afraid that my inability to appropriate time and space could hinder me from bringing out the best thing in me.

Now this ramble has gone stray hahahah… I should stop now. I thought I’d write something today and update this little piece of shit called blog.

Happy whatever it is you’re celebrating!

To my friend Ronie aka Boentel. The coolest, funniest cracker on bas2 You’ll be remembered man!

Innalillahi.