illusion of safety

I’m gonna miss the one and only daun singkong buatan mbak ku. Bah… belum pengen balik nih.

Two songs are created, about 90% done. Hopefully, if things are going right, they could be recorded by the end of the week. Or at least before I depart back to Malaysia.

Kenapa kok jadi rada berantakan lagi ya? Satu hal aja yg kepeleset, semuanya langsung kebawa2. Ternyata hal2 ini, gak segampang drag n drop ke recycle bin… Ah… Justru itu gw gak mau mikirin. Semakin gw tulis, semakin gw mikirin. Gw udah harus stop nih.

And you are all waiting in line to die together with me.

Without realizing that I die painfully.

And die with one devil, and a devil only.

And she’s absolutely not you.

And I don’t need you or your tear on my deathbed.

Life’s random. A really fucking random one that is. When you thought there’s no more hope but to keep on sinking, there’s gonna be a shed of light, and vice versa; when you thought you’re on top of the highest mountain, you realize you’re still under the sky. Either way, believe it my friend, experience has kept me sober, laughing, and alive for the past few months. It IS the harshest of all teacher, but apparently it is the most effective as well.

basabasi.com is out of order, but we had a gathering today nonetheless. Met some fun and zanny people, the people Koko introduced me to several moons ago. It was fun, yeah. I was hungry as hell though, and the food didn’t make it any easier on my part (the best nasi gila is still in Obelix, hands down, every other place is just poor imitation). So right now I’m still hungry, and I’m gonna eat. But before I go, I’d like to leave out a little note:

Muse is just so fucking great.

2006 didn’t start off very well. Damnit… but it doesn’t matter, I hope it can only get better from there. And it seems that everytime I come back to Indonesia, my passion for music inflamed, and my hands are always itchy to hold the guitar and go nuts! And well, it’s settled… COMPLETELY SETTLED, after centuries of confusion, I settle on hardcore. That’s right, hardcore and metal, and it has to be fast paced and thoughtful. Fuck mindless emotional bullshit, keep that away from me.

Fast, detailed, thoughtful art has always been the best and served me well.

Ne te fais pas d’illusions
Et ne te ridiculises pas
Cet amour est trop beau pour durer
Et je suis trop vieux pour rêver

Ne grandis pas trop vite
Et n’embrasse pas le passé
Cette vie est trop belle pour durer
Et je suis trop jeune pour m’en soucier

Ne te fais pas d’illusions
Et ne te ridiculise pas
Cette vie pourrait être la dernière
Et nous sommes trop jeunes pour nous en soucier

- Blackout by Muse

Thanks to icha and samara.

I’ll drop the cards, the guitars, and the books. I’ll kiss you in the morning and everytime before you sleep. I’ll give you my blanket so you’d stay warm in this winter, but if there’s not any, I’ll burn my clothes to keep you at least warmer than me. I’ll take you to the bus stop everyday. I’ll give you a call before, during, and after I’m away. I’ll even write you letters, so you’d read the ink I stroke from here. I’ll open the doors for you, I’ll build the bridge for you. I’ll spread the carpet and spring the flowers when you come in. I’ll write you songs to keep myself reminded that you’re there. I’ll take the blame when you flood the city. I’ll keep my tears in for you. I’ll prepare myself each day for you. I’ll always prepare myself each day for you.

And I’m sorry if I have not.

But I only ask for you to discard the knife and the ego you use to kill me.

- dari kamil untuk dia yg dicintainya.

But of course, I will make it. This winter is the season of heavy practicing of card magic and sleights. Give me the next winter, with determination, I’ll come out different.